Garbage Pail Kids (1987)

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
W: Melinda Palmer & Rod Amateau
D: Rod Amateau


It’s hard to imagine somebody wanted to make this movie. But considering punk fashion was it and hit movies like Repo Man, Heathers and apocalypse movies were it, I can kind of understand. The film takes its characters from Topps Trading Cards and created a mind numbingly stupid movie out of them.

A kid helps out a local antique shop and accidentally unleashes the Garbage Pail Kids, seemingly aliens from a distant planet that are trapped on Earth. The characters are supposed to be disgusting with the likes of Foul Phil, Greaser Greg, Valerie Vomit, Messy Tessie and the very annoying Ali Gator, he only wants to eat toes. It is amazing to me that with as vile and over the top the trading cards were, how tame this movie turned out to be. What could have been potentially a wildly gross out comedy turned into just another forgettable excursion making a statement of its era.
Wha? What chu mean you say?
The disgusting characters evidently develop feelings for the young boy, Dodger who is desperately in love (and way too young) for the girl of his dreams whose dating an asshole boyfriend, who beats the crap out of the kid any chance he gets. So to help Dodger the Garbage Pail Kids help him, you guessed it, make clothes for the girl to sell on the street and make her some money, so she’ll fall in love with him. How many times has that worked for me? A lot… in this movie it doesn’t, and its too bad, but everything about this film screams lackluster. If you thought Howard the Duck was the worst movie of the eighties, I believe you could find worse. The special effects are not particurlarily believeable, the acting is fair, its just this is a movie that doesn’t transcend generations. What Tim Burton did right with TOPPs other property Mars Attacks! Garbage Pail Kids does everything wrong.
If they ever develop Dinosaur Attacks! Count me in, those cards kicked ass! Especially, can you imagine a hard r rated horror, sci-fi comedy? Oh man… that makes me forget about this one already.
A cult classic for the midnighters…just don’t expect anybody dressing up anytime soon.