The Fourth Kind (2009)

The Fourth Kind (2009)
written and directed by Olatunde Osunsanmi


Undoubtedly the found footage genre keeps getting ground, and is boosting more careers since the heyday of Soderbergh and Tarantino when 'independent' was in. Now that it is showing far more inexpensive to shoot in this process, except Cloverfield which had very excellent special effects intergrated, the pseudo-documentary is pratically the way to go. Unfortunately by the time Cloverfield hit, and then Rec's remake Quarantine, the genre is starting to show wear and tear.

To start off, I was sporting a minor crush on the idea of documentry half re-enactment of alien abductions, given that I have the penchant to believe, of course, there is the possibilty of life beyond our universe, thats just as intelligent...or just as good at pretending to be intelligent, like us, I know I'm damn good at that. Also, being the movie geek I am, Milla Jovovich is another reason to see any movie. Except for those goddamn Resident Evil sequels.

Anyway...

Fourth Kind starts off with a silhouetted, stylishly shot emerging Milla, as she straight faces the camera and tells us, what you are about to see is real... Yay I love Unsolved Mysteries. It soon goes into an interview with the films director and case study Dr Abigail Taylor, the films center piece of controversy. We are laid out with case study after case study of her patients and their deteriorating states of mind, as one by one under goes unconventional hypnosis to uncover repressed memories of an owl, possible intruders and better yet, no one says it until like an hour in, ALIEN ABDUCTIONS!

The movie does do interesting things, such as archival footage playing side by side the reenactments, we also hear the strange audios, police cruiser footage, which in the course of the movie is unsettling, but not spectacular.

The movie essentially is a bigger budgeted Unsolved Mysteries, with no Robert Stack. I got to say, I read too many glowing reviews before seeing this movie, so I was pumped for something special. Its not special, its not breath taking, and its not even scary.

First of all, nothing is truly explained, granted our subjects on film have had almost all of their names changed and or declined to participate in the making of the film, and second I had problems with the believability. These people are seeing extraordinary things, experiencing them first hand, but treat these experiences as if they were thrift stores, like second hand tales that someone chopped all the detail out of; I wanted more explanation, I wouldn't have cared if they did not even show a glimpse of an alien, for just a little more exposition. To create a story that is purely fictional, hey Blair Witch did the same thing, made a shit load of people believe the story, then come to find out its fake. Yes recently, it was found none of this was true, yay, I guess I can sleep now. I was going to anyway, sarcasm, cough....

From a pure psychological approach though, I would like to discuss the films characters as they are portrayed through their rapid insanities and mental breakdowns. You see, within the first thirty minutes we meet a character who ends up blowing away his family and himself after under going hypnosis. He's big feller, heavy set and looks like he may have carried lumber in the day. After Dr Taylor puts him under hypnosis he freaks out, due to his repressed memory of the night prior, is coming to fruition. His mind can explain what his eyes saw, nor could he possibly describe. We are led to believe that what he saw was so terrifying, he immediately repressed it. Now, I wondered through out the movie, I got to tell you, I watched it with a strong sense of curiosity, I love stories about aliens, but I'm skeptical... still before I lose track I wondered -

Can something be so terrifying, that one would immediately manifest it in the back of the brain, especially if its recent? I can understand people with early child abuse, as a child I remember being flipped off when I got off the bus one day, cried about it, then five minutes later I was playing GI Joes, its like that with children. But adults, in The Fourth Kind, their templates are that of children, full grown, living regular lives, scared out of their wits. I'm a pretty progressive thinker, but the concept did not grab me. I did not believe it. For one thing, why do aliens sneek around snatching people out of windows, who says they use doors, why would they use doors, if they have giant flying saucers that can hover a foot off the ground. What threat would a person hold to an alien, if spotted, if an alien can come in a room, abduct the person then conduct experiments? I guess the arguement is really, would aliens erase your memory or would it be so frightening you wouldn't want to remember it.

I'd like to think I'd remember that shit. If i got abducted, I'd be scared, but intensely fascinated. Alien abduction theories are a fun fascinating look into the human psyche, I guess if we're scared enough we'll believe it...

For me, at the end of the day, I did not appreciate The Fourth Kind. It was a meandering movie that starts with saying 'what you believe is up to you' and ending with the same. So knowing its made up, at least the style was refreshing and new, and hell there were a couple of helicoptor shots I loved. I just thought the characters were devoid of direction, motivation and even character. I guess the major thing that bugged me is when something extraordinary would happen on the archival footage, nobody really mentioned it later, like it never happened. For the most part they stare at each other with sad eyes looking like the may thrown up or cry, or both for that matter.

For what its worth, it'd make a good rent for that Sunday you're feeling off, but there are better alien movies, may I suggest Communion which has genuinely creepy ass moments (or even Chris Walken ass moments, for some reason, theres a whole lotta chris walken ass) or even Ridley Scott's masterpiece Alien, and better yet, at least Dan Aykroyds documentary on abduction theories and alien life is far more interesting.

Like trying on new pants and not being impressed.

Worlds Greatest Dad (2009)

Worlds Greatest Dad (2009)
written and directed by
Bobcat Goldthwait


Whittling a career from years of side characters and few forays into behind the scenes direction, Bobcat Goldthwait is by this point, just the guy that had the weird voice in the police academy movies. But be damned, he is no Curtis Armstrong (Booger from the Nerds movies), he is just quite possibly comedies unprecedented genius that no one has paid attention to.

Worlds Greatest Dad is the best comedy of the year, even after Bruno shocked the living crap out of us with its gratuitous raunchy comedy about Homophobia, and even Judd Apatow relinquishing his hold from king of raunch to a stout little film about comedians with Funny People. It is Bobcat's new film, his third time directing, he inserts his unique outlook on humanity, and delivers a dish so cold and at times poignant that it is hard to look away without laughing or being uncomfortable.

It starts off with a strained father and son relationship, Lance Clayton (played expertly by Robin Williams) and his son Kyle, do not get along very well. Kyle (Daryl Sabara) is stupid, abrasive and extremely crude, while Lance is just a well to dad who happens to teach at the same school, carrying on a relationship with one of the other teachers and has a failing poetry class. Kyle is an extreme pervert, one of the first sequences, is Lance walking in on his son who is trying to reach orgasm and choking himself.

We are introduced to this teenager as he is his, a monstorous personality, one that is despicable, quick with a crude comeback and very mean to his 'best friend'. His sexuality is confused, not meaning he is fighting being gay, but he has no idea what sex is, talking about how shitting on people wouldbe fun and how vagina's do not eat themselves. His crass nature makes it so he is unapproachable.

Lance loves his son though, and tries to include him in all of his life's details, including telling personal information regarding his love affair with the teacher and just plain ole trying to connect with his son.

Then one day after a particularily successful date, Lance comes home to see Kyle strung up against the end of his bed, dead from auterotic aspyhxtiation. As hilarious the consequences are, Robin Williams shines from this moment on, even though he is a loving father of a truly unruly kid, he has a breakdown, tidy's up his son and makes it look like a suicide. He writes a suicide note that ends up being released in the school paper and all of a sudden his not well to do grade D student, becomes a school sensation and icon for everyone who didn't know him.

The film deals with hard issues, with a skewed outlook on sexuality, secrets and suicide. However, Bobcat's sentimentality reigns high and strong, even when the comedy is downright dirty and disgusting. I got to admit, during Robin Williams break down scene, I felt his agony of not being able to let go. Its a scene like this where Bobcat combines Wes Anderson with a dab Farrelly brothers. But the movie is not without its moments of hilarity with enough laugh out moments to fill out an Apatow movie anyday.

Early press releases on this film suggested Robin Williams did his usually improv's on set, but Williams admits all of it was written and on page by Bobcat, and after watching the film I can only nod in agreement. From the years of watching Shakes the Clown or even Bobcat's stand up 'Share the Warmth' this harkens back to the comedians style. Subversive entertainment with heartfelt moments of shame and humanity. Look for this comedy, it ranks with some of the last decades best, such as 'Wet Hot American Summer', 'There's Something about Mary' and '40 Year Old Virgin', and truly Robin Williams gives one of his best performances since Fisher King.

Also be on the lookout for Spongebob himself, Tom Kenny playing set directon of Dr Dana in the movie! Enjoy!

Elvira Mistress of the Dark (1987)

Elvira Mistress of the Dark (1987)

W: Sam Egan, John Paragon and Cassandra Peterson
D: James Signorelli

The great bad movie hostess, Elvira has her own movie and in great eighties fashion, saves a town from taking itself to seriously. And demonic possessions as well.

The hard rocking and innuendo spouting Elvira is having a tough time getting her dreams of being a Las Vegas act off the ground. Her show is a joke, so she is advised if she wants to go anywhere she’ll have to pay for it. With fifty thousand dollars!

Luckily she inherits the home and belongings of her grandmother, presumably a witch in the town of Falwell. She gets there only to become the central controversy of parents and decent citizens alike. Kids look up to her, men can’t keep their eyes off of her and not to mention her up to no good Great uncle is trying to get his hands on her assets… I mean… ‘cookbook’, A strange book of magic and potions that she is clueless about.

The movie is pretty funny, definetly dated, but has a fun sense of itself, Cassandra Peterson who plays Elvira has good comic timing, though the jokes wear thin after awhile. Its when the ‘cookbook’ comes into play that this movie becomes a good horror comedy. Its high class campy fun.

She even hosts a midnight show where she shows the “worst movie ever”, apparently ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ is it…. I don’t think so. The special effects are neat and there is a great scene involving a crock pot monster. She falls for the hunky theater owner and also does an homage to Flashdance.

The thing that I thought was funny, with as much crude sexual remarks she makes, and hints at her being a nympho, she seems to be a fairly picky one. Just a character inconsistency I thought was funny. A funny line of conversation is when the concerned theater owner asks her ‘ hows your head?” after she bumps it, her reply is “I haven’t heard very many complaints”.

Its quick, witty and like I wrote, campy, and if you can’t go wrong with the highly attractive Cassandra Peterson wearing an impossibly low cut dress throughout.

However, even though Peterson credited Elvira as being created back in her improv days, there was a public out lash from the original Vampira who claimed she ripped off her character. Its debatable, however, there is never enough hot horror hostesses around presenting bad movies. So pass the cake!

Don't Go in the Woods...Alone (1981)

Don’t Go in the Woods…Alone (1981)
Written by Garth Eliassen
Directed by James Bryan


Unintentional humor and gore fill the screens with this low budget horror flick produced in Utah. Apparently our friends from the U.K. banned this during the big video nasty era. Four campers go on a hike and are targeted by a crazed Vietnam vet who dresses up like bird.

The dvd from Code Red, a Media Blasters subsidiary offers two commentary tracks, the second track is worth a listen because its hosted by Deron Miller, lead singer of the band CKY. It offers some humorous antedotes to the film and has some of the cast recalling fond memories. What sets this movie apart is some of the innovativeness of the camera work, some really excellent point of view shots are seen.

But really, this is a pretty bad movie.

Castle of Blood (1964)

Castle of Blood (aka Danse Macabre) (1964)
Written by Sergio Corbucci and Giovanni Grimaldi
Directed by Antonio Margheriti


This effective atmospheric thriller based on a Edgar Allan Poe story stars the beautiful Barbara Steele as an inhabitant of the Blackwood Castle, that is presumably haunted.

Our film starts with Alan Foster, a journalist who wants to interview Edgar Allan Poe, but instead finds himself mixed up with spending an evening in the castle as bizarre bet, that no one makes it out alive. Or ever comes back. Once in the castle he finds he is not alone and as one character explains, that they are damned to replay their deaths for all eternity. Foster falls for Barbara Steele’s character who is trying to help him escape his fate.

This is good horror film, and even though not campy fun like Roger Corman’s Poe movies, is eerie and has lush visuals set against great lighting and fog covered sets. The movie feels like Mario Bava, and with one of spaghetti westerns best writers behind it Corbucci (Great Silence, Django), makes this a must see for those looking for excellent gothic horror. Plus, it has the same tone of Twilight Zone or truly great horror stories of H.P. Lovecraft.

Central Park Drifter (or Graveyard Shift) 1987

Central Park Drifter (1987)
Written by Gerard Ciccoritti
Directed by Gerard Ciccoritti


A New York cab driver (Silvio Oliverio aka Stephen Tsepes) prowls the night streets picking up unsuspecting victims. He’s a 350 year old vampire, and great googily moodily he falls in love with a set designer (Helen Papas) for music videos. He also has a slew of vampresses that are wreaking havoc on unsuspecting men. Meanwhile the police are baffled as to what is causing serial killer like deaths in the city.
The photography is good, and so isn’t the cover of the video… its just boring…There are some good shocks, gore and sex/nudity, but the movie just doesn’t go anywhere spectacular. Sometimes its also a little to rock video.

Title on screen comes up as Graveyard Shift however for this guy, Central Park Drifter is a much more enticing title.

Psychos in Love (1987)

Psychos in Love (1987)
W: Gorman Bechard & Carmine Capobianco
D: Gorman Bechard


Pyscho’s in Love is about two misfit people who happen to be serial murders. Everything is blasé and meaningless unless they have the thrill of the kill in front of them. Carmine Capobianco plays Joe, a lonely man, who runs a bar and is trying to find true love, if he’d just stop killing all the potentials. I have the same problem, jeesh.

Then we meet Kat played by Deb Thibeault, a Molly Ringwald looking beauty who also is trying to overcome her insatiable blood lust for a regular love.

They share two true passions…killing and hating grapes…which we are reminded a dozen or so times before it becomes entirely annoying.

The meet in Joe’s bar. Sparks fly and he doesn’t feel compelled to kill her. Happiness ensues, but like most marriages, it steadily falls back to normal where they want to kill, as if it’s a metaphor for their sex life. They start trying new things, like killing in front of another.

Enter our third killer, a plumber who loves to eat. The people he kills.

Got your list?

Two Killers…check
One cannibal…check
A seriously demented comedy that can’t possibly fail?

It can. As a precursor to far better serial killer comedies, Serial Mom comes to mind, this is just an ok satire. The jokes are groan inducing, and there is a lot of self deprecating humor to boot. Audiences may become quickly irritated with characters turning to the camera and talking directly at it.

My biggest problem is that the movie plays off like a home recorded version of Eating Raoul. The characters are likable enough, but it just keeps playing it safe by reminding you its just a movie. As if it were a Mel Brooks comedy, which it is far from being.

The gore was lite so I was alittle bummed, the cover evidently wants to get consumers to watch it and they promise a lot more than whats in the movie. You’d hope this one came from the Tom Savini school of savagery, especially being a comedy, but it doesn’t.

One really funny scene involves a hooker who refuses to die.

All in all, I wasn’t completely hopelessly in love with it, it has too many in jokes for the producers sake and is actually kind of dull. Worth a watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon, but I wouldn’t go much further than that.