Blood Harvest (1987)

Blood Harvest (1987)

W and D: Bill Rebane

Seriously, are you people jealous… this is it, the end all movies wish list crossed off…. The only horror movie with ‘Tip Toeing through the Tulips” singer songwriter Tiny Tim… I can feel your agony of defeat that I got to it first before you!

In various movie guides, I’ve had this film checked off with a loving star awaiting the day I’d see it. I mean, Tiny Tim! Horror! Blood! Boobs! Things you get to see any time of the day in one collective jewel case of awesome.

Boy, was I disappointed.

Depending on your level of love for horror, this is one shoddy, unremarkably campaigned movie. However and boy do I mean however…

Its got Tiny Tim!

As the killer no less? You ask?

No, but the marketing would make you believe it. I mean that’s why I wanted to watch it.

It’s the story of a girl Jill, who comes home from college and her child hood friend hook up and chat and her parents are out of town. Because that’s important for us to know. Meanwhile this town she grew up in has become poor due to her parents buying up most of the properties. So here and there the house is vandalized and she’s terrorized when nobody else is around.

The two people that are almost always around are her grade school friend and his song spewing brother Mervo the Marvelous. Cue title song, which is really good in hindsight. She is visited by girlfriends and her college boyfriend comes to spend the night. The boyfriend is played by Peter Krause, and if you don’t know Peter Krause, go get Six Feet Under, one of the best television shows in history and watch how marvelous he is in that. In this, he is wasted… literally, within minutes of his on screen appearance, his throat is slit and he is hung upside down.

Of course this looks really real.

Her friends are killed, she hasn’t heard from her parents… and everything is really discombobulated. A lot doesn’t make sense. Like what is Merv doing in the barn the whole time… except hanging out… Tiny Tim is the other talent wasted in this movie… its too bad, because I think as a strict slasher movie, the end is kind of cool… the entire build up is terrible though. Bad dialogue, bad writing and extremely terrible budget. There isn’t enough moments of weirdness, and I kind of get this image of the director going for two different movies, your atypical slasher and then a sorrowful portrayal of man whose not playing with all of his marbles. Tiny Tim must have been stoked to be in the flick, he prances, dances and sings and sometimes has Buffalo Bill, Silence of the Lambs, cutaway scenes.

You sometimes think a flick will change your life… it just makes you wonder…what if Tiny Tim actually played the killer… and what if he went on to play the Penguin…

But like most horror flicks… its worth look… there are worse movies out there.