Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009)

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus
Written and Directed by Jack Perez

Cross one off of my anticipated movies of the year, here's one for everyone! Actually, I believe the new millenium for midnight movies is upon us, this is fair proof.

Asylum pictures is probably one of the most fruitful name brands in the industry, with a movie a week mentality, the companies president and film makers pretty much can beat any major block buster to home video, before that block buster has been in theaters. Often times they feature actors who could've had a name but didn't manage to find the legs in their careers to do so. But I got to respect a company, no matter how much crap it throws out there on the market, can produce and distribute a film within a months time, thats better than Troma's stats, or even companies like Magnolia. Fortunately for us though, in these hard economic times, we can take them up on their offer.... if you dare to...

Innocently and very eighties like, the movie starts off with an Alaskan exploration, Deborah Gibson playing the typical female brainiac, Emma, is aboard a mini sub trying to communicate to Whales, via playing Mozart as sonar? (!) She and her college professor come across a herd of whales swimming away from something, DUN DUN DAAAA....what could it be?

Above the waters in a Jet flying dangerously low ready to deploy test bombs into a glacier... (cough).... these bombs release the titianic creatures, held imprisoned by ice some odd millions of years ago in while in battle.... its up to the scientists and armed forces to stop these goliaths before they devour the world...

but the movie is called MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS, it spins out of control trying to fit in as many destruction money shots as it can... is this the rival for 2012? who knows...

then the movie becomes a chaotic nonsensical journey, with stereo types every where, the japanese scientist thats straight out of Godzilla and the always reliable Lorenzo Lamas as the captian...

this movie includes set pieces that try to demolish everything in site... because organic living creatures just love to tear apart metal, probably because its inconviencing them... however, the Octopus destroys an oil rig, the shark jumps of the water to take down a 747, Octo beats up submarines like their bowling pins and another great scene is...

"captian, target is going for the golden gate bridge!"

Shark dips its head up and munches down on the golden gate bridge...

all in all, this movie is ace... very bad, very unintelligent, panders to nobodies expectations. There are so many WTF moments, you can help but snigger or cough when something is done or said... also goes to show you, humansare not prepared or capable to handle Prehistoric creatures that get thawed out of ice... i mean these creatures are impervious to any kind of damage caused by bombs or missiles, I mean fuck, we're screwed! MONSTERQUEST take notice!

I know I criticize movies for being too cutesy or not meeting their full potential, I don't think this movie had potential other than the title page of the script... its a ridiculous ride to fun town. It also boasts some impressive CG effects... until it becomes too evident they couldn't afford what they wanted to make... its also fun watching actors like Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas read lines like they are on a bad SNL sketch... oh the pain...

for the midnite crowd, enjoy staying up late with this, however, regular movie goers could and probably would do better on SCI-FI original movies... even if they could, I'd still recommend this....its so fun